Time

I have been having a bad time lately and I must confess that my walk with the Lord hasn't been close at all... Al thought this bothered me a lot I didn't do anything to make it right i just let things go by and hoping "time" will fix things, but the truth is "time" is something God uses to heal us we just have to be patient enough to want to wait for his time!

Now I clearly see that giving God his "time" is very impotent, much more impotent than anything else,  The beauty of God is that even when we stop giving him "time" he still gives us his time to look at us and to constantly remind us that he wants to spend time with us.

But coming back he[God] has a perfect plan and his timing is perfect. We can be very close to our God but not realize what his plan for us is.

Tough Times

Someone once told me "You don't drop off a girl; you walk her to where she is going". Some memories mean a lot to us. some memories are the only thing we have left and we desperately want those memories to be always prefect so we do are best to avoid anything that could tarnish the aspect of those memories that make them special.

To be really honest the last few months have been a disaster (I'm assuming its mostly my fault) and also I have no idea why I said what I said in the above paragraph. Sure I put on a smile and make annoying jokes that doesn't even make any sense, unfortunately as I discovered lately that is my coping mechanism, grate huh? My coping mechanism is making a fool out of myself in public.... but here's the best part I don't regret a single moment of it! its like all this time I've been living a lie and the best thing this depression did to me was bring out that little boy that I was desperately trying to ignore and hid away so I can fit in to a world of lost innocence and complexity. Ever made fun of old people? Who seem to be trying to make things difficult for themselves, well I did too! I used to think that being an adult means making tough choices and being ridiculously narrow minded, guess what I was right and further more I had become that very thing. Sucks doesn't it.

I don't want to bore you with the details, but since no one probably will read this I might as well for my own sanity. See putting it all out there makes it easier for me to understand what the heck is happening to me trust me to this day I have no idea what’s bothering me so much! 

It all started when my parents decided to move out of are nice little home in and move in with our grandparents, as many of you probably know old people are not the most understanding and rational people to be with, and for those who know me, well you know that my old people are particularly hard for anyone to get along with. hmm coming to think of it, it’s really hard for anyone to get along with me too.. Now I know where I get my crappy attitude from. Anyway things when from bad to horrible within a matter of weeks. So I desired to take action about it and to lighten up the gloomy old pest infested house. I got a puppy! Yes that's right and she is adorable, well when she stops biting everything and don't have flees(Sadly that doesn't happen very offen). 

See none of this had a major impact on my little life... UNTIL my career went hoping, literally! I have had 2 freaking jobs within one month and the latter one was a disaster to with I lost a pretty penny and most of my self esteem, at least what was left of it... I left a perfectly boring no work job (any lazy asses dream job), it’s not so much a dream because after the first two months its mostly daydreaming and sitting... mostly sitting! So for my own satisfaction and my parent I decided to take a class so I don't feel like I'm doing nothing, guess what I get offered a job there, me being me... delighted that I got this opportunity without thinking twice (or once for that matter) took it up only to find out that the place was a abusive boundless place, but thank God (yes I mean it) a friend’s father set me up with a reputed and well established establishment. So long story short(actually its quite short lasts only two weeks, but I'm still not sure what happened(let’s just leave it at divine intervention that save me from impending peril), so I'll cut to the chase)

So the day I heard that I had got the other job I quite that place and when home early.. Didn’t go that well!

Anyway that bring me to the next part of my disaster story, I have been home for two weeks! And all I do is watch HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER and other very addictive TV series. Which doesn't work well when you have your mother around complaining about your addiction.

then comes the devastating part, see I was happy despite all these events, I didn't have a care in the world because I had somebody who made me very happy, just talking to this person for five minutes made my day, and God forbid it was a person someone very dear to me. Until this person made something very clear and by God I was devastated, I pretended that I was cool with it, that I respect this person’s decision but I soon discovered that I wasn't OK with it  that I was miserable. So I had finally hit rock bottom, I started blaming this person for the way I felt... as you know there is only so much a person can take and I guess I went over that limit. 

Guess that's what happens when you stop focusing on what you’re meant to and unknowingly focusing on a different thing. That thing you’re suppose to focus hits you in the face to remind you what the heck your doing. Imagine your hanging on the edge of a cliff and there is someone up top reaching down trying to get you up and you like most idiots do is keep looking down and hoping the bottom will come closer to you. Yes that is what I was doing, waiting for the bottom to come towards me. I keep trying to grab that out stretched hand but I keep missing it, some time I get a good grip on it but suddenly lose focus and let go of it.

There is a lesson in all this for everyone, I hope you figure it out on your own and maybe tell me also because I sure as hell is have no idea what it is...

Someone once told me "Love is like a tape if you keep putting it on and taking it off it becomes useless in the end." They say love as much as you can, but I say save it! save it for when its worth it  and for all you know someone is going to need that tape with all the stickiness in it has to paste it over their month and shut them up.  

REMEMBER, REMEMBER THE FIFTH OF NOVEMBER

Remember, remember the fifth of November

Gunpowder, treason and plot

I see no reason why gunpowder treason

Should ever be forgot

Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes, ‘twas his intent

To blow up the King and the Parliament

Three score barrels of powder below

Poor old England to overthrow

By God’s providence he was catched

With a dark lantern and burning match

Holloa boys, holloa boys God save the King!

Hip hip hooray!

Hip hip hooray!

A penny loaf to feed ol’ Pope

A farthing cheese to choke him

A pint of beer to rinse it down

A faggot of sticks to burn him

Burn him in a tub of tar

Burn him like a blazing star

Burn his body from his head

Then we’ll say ol’ Pope is dead.

Hip hip hooray!

Hip hip hooray!

Commitment to a Christian lifestyle.

We expect everything to be easy, nothing wrong with that expect we want it abundant rewards with minimum effort.

 G.K. Chesterton (A writer) once said, “The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting. It has been found difficult, and left untried.”

Being a committed Christian is not easy, especially in this modern age world, because following God involves sacrifice, effort and devotion. Being a young person makes it harder because the world we live in is so competitive and fast paced. (Exercise machine that only require “15 minutes a day”) We would rather like to have spiritual growth plans that work with “once a week on a Sunday”; but the truth is God requires us to be devoted to him throughout the week, constantly looking to him and living a life that satisfies him.

But when you really look at it, we really don’t have time! Forget setting apart time for God, we can’t even afford to set apart time for ourselves! Fortunately for us God knows our every NEED and he promises that he will provide everything we NEED when we look for him and look to glorify him.

Matthew 6:33 “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”

 

Example from the Bible;

 

Life of Abraham is commitment through faith: He was promised a great nation if he left his place and went so he went and he faced a famine. God promises him children as much as the stars and the sands.

He was 99 years old then when he got a son he was over 100 and then god tells him to kill the son

You would think God is being funny but he had faith and through that came commitment Abraham never even got to see God's promise of a great generation... it happened after he died.

But still he committed himself towards God, he could have given up when he hit 98, I mean pretty logical thing to do… he had that choice, we never read in the Bible that God said to Abraham: go to the land I show you or you shall surely die if you don’t do what I say!

I believe commitment is a choice we make, a promise we make to ourselves and to God, the only two people from who we can never hide from! The only two people that see’s you without your mask, and in our case as Christians we need to be deeply committed to Christ, because once we make that commitment Saten will do everything to make us wonder off that commitment and worse justify the cause of wondering off course! So we need to a solid foot set down for good!

But how are we to know that our commitment to God will be honoured? All of the commitments we make should flow from the commitment God has first made to us. Once God committed himself to our highest good, his will toward us was sealed. God tells us that he is committed to all who are in Christ, and that our relationship with him will last forever. Jeremiah 31:31-36 shows us the covenant of commitment the Lord made with his people:

Jeremiah 31:31-3: “The time is coming,” declares the Lord, “when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and with the house of Judah. It will not be like the covenant I made with their forefathers when I took them by the hand to lead them out of Egypt, because they broke my covenant, though I was a husband to them,” declares the Lord.

“This is the covenant I will make with the house of Israel after that time,” declares the Lord. “I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people. No longer will a man teach his neighbour, or a man his brother saying, ‘Know the Lord,’ because they will all know me, from the least of them to the greatest,” declares the Lord. “For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.”

This is what the Lord says, he who appoints the sun to shine by day, who decrees the moon and stars to shine by night, who stirs up the sea so that its waves roar – the Lord Almighty is his name: “Only if these decrees vanish from my sight,” declares the Lord, “will the descendants of Israel ever cease to be a nation before me.”

The ultimate basis for security and significance in life relates to commitment (security) and to how long something will last (significance). In these six verses, God provides for his people a sense of both security and significance – a sure word that his commitment to them will never fail.

In spite of the rebelliousness of the people of Judah, the Lord assured them through the prophet Jeremiah that he was committed to their ultimate good. Judgment was inevitable because they had flagrantly violated God’s commands, but the prophet looked beyond this impending condemnation to a time of consolation. There will be a faithful remnant, and God’s people will eventually enjoy the blessings of forgiveness and complete renewal.

In this covenant, God commits himself to the welfare of the house of Israel and Judah and predicts a time when they will all know him and when his law will be written on their hearts. (Jeremiah 29:11)  “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”.

For God to work in our lives (plans to prosper us), we need to be committed and trusting in the Lord to let him work in our lives for our own on.

What does commitment look like in a leader, and how can we practice it? Jesus reveals his standard of deeper commitment in Matthew’s Gospel:

Matthew 16:24-26: Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet loses his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?

Jesus spoke these words to his disciples, but they still call us to action today. Through these living words, Jesus makes it clear that he requires total commitment of his followers. He said that unless one commits everything, one loses everything. For the Christian leader, that commitment must remain strong until the end of our earthly walk.

And he portrayed it in his life; at the garden of Gethsemane Jesus had all the right in the world to wake away from all that pain, he didn’t have to go through with it… after all he was human in the flesh! But he was committed to his fathers will because nothing else mattered to him, he was committed to die!

In conclusion; Christian faith is based on commitment to God and him service. We have to reflect that commitment in our day to day life, be it in our work place with integrity, at our schools with obedience, in our relationships with commitment the most important relationship being with Jesus Christ.

Angels

So when we hear the work angle what is the first thing that comes to mind: A beautiful Olive skinned half naked figure with big white shiny winds and a kind look on their face, a naked baby with tiny wings holding a adorable bow and arrow or a really cute girl (depending on how your mind works).

aww... you just melted right there.

Well.. the most common reference to angels are in the Bible. From Genesis right to Revelations we find that  angels are spiritual beings often depicted as messengers of God. they do things like simply deliver a message to stand  guard by the tree of Good and Evil. 

So how did we get the image of a beautiful angel in our head?

 Actually from Paintings! painters took liberties when portraying angels, giving them wings was a visually interesting way to identify who was the angel  in a painting full of regular figures (wings were also used in the early church to denote that these creatures lived in the sky). [1]

angels are easier to identify with wings

Archangels like Michael and Gabriel were given contemporary military status, there are more types of angels: Seaphim, Chetubim,Chrysolite etc...
But if you look in to Bible the writers have done more that write what angels did, but have also noted down the appearance of an angel looks like, specially people like Isaiah and Ezekiel who actually uncounted angels first hand. So according to them angels look like:

Seaphim

the seraphim,  have six wings and need all of them to cover their body, lest they blind/incinerate whoever is unlucky enough to bump into one.
"Seraphim, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet,and with two they were flying. At the sound of their voices the doorposts and thresholds shook and the temple was filled with smoke. Isaiah 6:2,4."

 Thrones 

This was the appearance and structure of the wheels: They sparkled like chrysolite, and all four looked alike.
Each appeared to be made like a wheel intersecting a wheel. Ezekiel 1:16

Chetubim

In Ezekiel 10:14 describes them as frightening four-headed monstrosities that included the faces of a man, an eagle and a lion.
 "The cherubim had four faces: One face was that of a cherub, the second the face of a human being, the third the face of a lion, and the fourth the face of an eagle. Ezekiel 10:14"

Know what you are referring to! the next time you call you're girlfriend an Angel...

Until We Meet by Agatha Winslow

My nights will be a little colder
My days a little shorter
My heart will beat a little less rapid
Until we meet

I know that my arms will be empty
My mind hurting from the constant thought of you
Minutes will seem to be hours
Hours will seem to be months
While months will seem like eternity
Until we meet

The stars in the sky will not affect me
with its gleaming sparkles of life
Until I am gazing at them in your arms
And the food that I eat will not be as fulfilling and nourishing
Until it is you that I share the my food with
And Until we meet

I will not feel whole
My world will seem incomplete
Until that wonderful day
When we make our first contact
Cant wait for the moment so great
When our hearts combine
Longing eyes will wait
Until we meet

Waiting smiles

She was looking out the window, It was raining outside she smile to her self because she liked the rain, but right now she wished it was a bright sunny day as the rain was delaying something she was look forward to... she checked her phone for like the millionth time. wondering if everything was alright, if that moment was going to come today? 


She was tired and feeling a bit cold, she obviously wasn't dresses for the weather.. she wore a body hugging purple T-shirt and a pair of old jeans. but she didn't mind the weather now thinking about what to come made her warm on the inside. she smiled again, she felt stupid and took a look around to see if people where looking at her for behaving like a skitsofrantic! even that joke-to-self made her smile, Heck! everything seemed make her smile.


The barista brought her a hot coffee she had order which seems like ages ago. she clutched the mug and instantly felt the warmth of the hot drink. now her heart was beating fast she found her self looking out the window again. she was nervous. she was biting her lips and frigging. 


she felt a figure standing behind her and her said "Hi hun, sorry I'm late." she smile to her self... he has finally arrived.

The Second Coming

    Turning and turning in the widening gyre
    The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
    Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
    Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
    The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
    The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
    The best lack all conviction, while the worst
    Are full of passionate intensity.


    Surely some revelation is at hand;
    Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
    The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
    When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
    Troubles my sight: a waste of desert sand;
    A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
    A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
    Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
    Wind shadows of the indignant desert birds.


    The darkness drops again but now I know
    That twenty centuries of stony sleep
    Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
    And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
    Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?


William Butler Yeats

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate, 
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.




William Ernest Henley 

Reboot

OK so its been a while(a really long while).. been hectic like never before but productive as heaven. You never know there are things possible till you actually try it out, just so you know I've tried out a lot of things lately... many with the grace of God have been successful... and most of the things going wacky in wired ways...  but for some reason I don't regret any of it...


So a little update.. I have moved out of my residence in Dehiwala and is currently located in Colombo 6.... also I have moved out from my previous job and currently sitting at my new one typing this...


I spend most of my evening locked up in my room, you might think this should be a grate opportunity for a nerd like me to start writing my blog. WRONG! this just makes me very apathetic and lifeless i find refuge in Movies that don't excite me at all(must be the horrible quality torrent downloads)


So about my new job I work as a Trainer and Developer (the latter being less frequent, actually there are both less frequent since I'm still undergoing self training) and its not so crowded in here like the last place and everyone is quite and polite (no drama,YAY! for now -__-) 


I've also been working more closely with youth and CSC youth, and when some pretty amazing camps during my absence from the blogging scene. and made some pretty cool friends along the way... 


So my life as a whole has been more that active and hyped. Oh not all that anymore (figures right! since in writing this blog post)
So anyway its been one week since I joined this company (Ascensor partners) and I'm missing my old friends.. guess  I'm still getting used to this place. I am yet to actually start working.
So pretty much a nonsense of a life and I turned 20 last week(still alive.. hmmmm... that's good/odd)


[Wow.. all three of those sentences started with a "SO"]


pretty much it for now.. hope I don't loose touch again  should keep this up(Although I know no one ever reads this) just to stay connected with myself and keep track of my life(what! I forget!)